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Les Poissons (Jasmine's Pete version)
Inside the dining room table, Aladdin was standing near the window, looking out into the distance. While Cassim was seated at the large table, beginning to clean his pipe, Aladdin was waiting patiently for Jasmine to arrive as he tried desperately to reason with his son. "Oh, Al, be reasonable," said Cassim, feeling clearly amused while waving his pipe in the air. "Nice young ladies just don't - swim around rescuing people in the middle of the ocean and then - flutter off into oblivion, like some -" Aladdin cut him off. "I'm tellin' you, Dad, she was REAL!" he said, "I'm gonna find that girl. And I'm gonna marry her." He put his left hand over his chin, gazing out the glass windows. Suddenly, laughter was heard from behind him. He turned his head to see the lover with the housemaid. "Come on, honey." said a voice, "Don't be shy." It was Nanny. She stood by the door frame, guiding the lovers into the dining room. Out of the shadows came Jasmine. Jasmine was now wearing a purple strapless dress with long, puffy, off-the-shoulder sleeves, a lavender sash around her waist with a sapphire jewel in the center, a lavender brim on her neckline, and a matching sash that both hangs on her hips and flows down, just below her calves, a gold necklace and earrings, a purple headband with an amethyst jewel, and gold Arabic shoes. This was a new look for Jasmine, and she showed that she was being treated well by the servants. Aladdin's eyes widened as Cassim walked up behind his son. "Oh, Al, isn't she a vision?" asked Cassim. The grin he had was never slipping off his face. Aladdin's mouth hung open. But he closed his mouth and swallowed, feeling somewhat nervous. "You look - wonderful." Aladdin stammered. Jasmine, unable to say, "Thank you," replied with a gentle blush, she shrugged her shoulders, appreciating the nice comment, a smile on her face as her brown eyes looked up from behind her black hair. Aladdin blushed a light pink as Cassim helped Aladdin into his chair, quite enthusiastic, but not before giving the young princess a light nudge. Aladdin pursed his lips, but grinned nonetheless. "Come come come, you must be famished. Let me help you my dear. There we go - ah - quite comfy?" He helped the princess into her seat. Aladdin tucked the chair under the table as the Arabian princess sat down. "Uh, it's...it's not often that we have such a lovely dinner guest, eh, Al?" Jasmine wasn't playing attention anymore. She was too intrigued by the glistening silver 'dinglehopper' resting on the table. With a wide smile, she picked up the shiny object and began brushing her hair with it. She looked up to face a confused Aladdin and a horrified Cassim. Jasmine delicately placed the 'dinglehopper' back on the table and looked down in embarrassment. She bit her lip and looked up as she saw Cassim using a lighter to ignite the coppery thing that Jasmine understood as a 'snarfblatt'. Cassim kindly smiled at her, and handed her his pipe. "Uh, do you like it?" he asked, "It is a rather fine..." Cassim stopped in mid-sentence when the Arabian princess blew into the pipe as if it was a trumpet, sending a cloud of smoke spurting out the top and straight into his face. Aladdin cracked up with laughter while Nanny gave a small giggle. "Oh, my!" she exclaimed. Aladdin cleared his throat, trying to regain composure. "Ahem. I'm sorry, Dad." Nanny smiled, placing a hand on the street rat's shoulder, "Why, Aladdin," she said. "That's the first time I've seen you smile in weeks." Jasmine looked up from the table and smiled. "Oh, very amusing," said Cassim, as he used a handkerchief to wipe the last bit of smoke of his face and sniffed. "Nanny, my dear, what's for dinner?" "Oooh, you're gonna love it!" Nanny smiled. "Chef's been fixing his specialty, roast squirrel!" Eddie poked his head out from behind a sugar bowl and gasped upon seeing the chef of a French kitchen. He was a big, fat cat with back fur, a shaven peach muzzle, a black nose, and two white buckteeth. He wears white gloves, a salmon-colored dress shirt, a burgundy-and-black striped tie, forest green pants, black shoes, a white chef's hat, and a matching apron. His name was Pete Pete, the French chef of the kitchen. Pete rummaged through a cupboard. Singing in French to himself, he hummed to himself as he took a basket of trout and putting one on a counter. With his food ready, the fat cat chef started singing. Pete: Les poissons Les poissons How I love '''les poissons' ''Love to chop And to serve little fish Grabbing the trout from the basket, Pete pulled out a cleaver and violently chopped off its head. This shocked Eddie horribly. Horrified that this was happening, Eddie hid his face. Pete: First I cut off their heads Then I pull out the bones Ah mais oui Ca c'est toujours delish Taking out another trout, Pete took the cleaver and violently chopped off its head then proceeded to skin it and gut it while Eddie leaned against a wall and covered his mouth, feeling quite sick, feeling as if he may want to throw up. Pete: Les poissons Les poissons Hee hee hee Hah hah hah With the cleaver I hack them in two Taking out another trout, Pete again chopped its head and then chopped the rest of the body into tiny pieces. Eddie tried getting away, but he found himself face to face with the trout's head. Pete: I pull out what's inside And I serve it up fried Cause I love little fishes'' Don't you? After cutting the trout's head off, Pete pulled out the insides of the trout and cooked it on a frying pan before serving it on a plate. Spotting a large lettuce leaf, Eddie grabbed the leaf and used it to disguise himself as he slowly scuttled away from an unsuspecting chef, who is too absorbed into his little fish hacking mania but Pete took a mallet and began smashing a tuna flat. Pete: Here's something for tempting the palate Prepared in the classic technique First you pound the fish flat with a mallet When Pete pounded the tuna flat with the mallet, Eddie flew off the counter along with other stuff on it. He hid again under the lettuce before hearing more gross stuff from Pete's preparations for the tuna. Pete: Then you slash through the skin Give the belly a slice Then you rub some salt in 'Cause that makes it taste nice When Pete was describing those horrid moves, Eddie cringed even more. Just after Pete put the salt on he rather was holding the fish body close to his cheek, Eddie worst fear was confirmed when the cook reached out and grabbed the lettuce leaf, leaving him exposed. The small squirrel kept perfectly still as the chef gasped, "Zut alors!" exclaimed Pete, "I have missed one!" He picked up the 'dead' squirrel and continued singing, Pete: ''Sacre bleu'' What is this? How on earth could I miss Such a sweet little succulent squirrel? ''Quel dommage'' What a loss Here we go In the sauce Now some flour I think just a spurt Pete tossed Eddie into a bowl of sauce and threw a spot of flour in his face, making him cough and sneeze before pulling him out and stuffing some breadcrumbs in his mouth. Pete: Now I stuff you with bread It don't hurt 'cause you're dead And you're certainly lucky you are Eddie spat out the breadcrumbs and wheezed loudly. Pete didn't notice that the squirrel in his hand was still alive. Pete: 'Cause it's gonna be hot In my big silver pot Toodle loo ''Mon poisson'' ''Au revoir!''' Pete threw Eddie across the room into a large pot of boiling water. Eddie held on to the inside of the pot before a bubble popped, burning him out of the pot and onto the counter with a loud thud. Pete, hearing the 'thud', looked over to it being confused. He used a pitchfork-like utensil and stabs on either side of the squirrel, picking up Eddie and carefully inspected it. "What is this?" he asked. Eddie bit Pete's nose, making him scream in pain as he held his nose. Eddie landed on the handle of a pan on the stove. Pete reached for the fox, but instead put his hand on the fiery hot stove. The chef screamed and blew on his hand as the pan fell onto his foot. Pete grabbed his foot and cried in pain, before sending Eddie an angry glare, grabbing a bunch of knives and hurling them at the squirrel. Eddie, who ducked each knife, dove under the counter, and while the chef was looking under the counter, Eddie pushed the bowl of sauce off the counter. The bowl shattered on his head. Going more insane, Pete lifted his cleaver and brought it down. But all he managed to chop up was the counter. He saw Eddie running rapidly for his life. Eddie screamed as he tried getting out. The cleaver landed right in front of him, stopping him from running that way. He quickly made a mad dash underneath Pete and hid underneath a cabinet of glasses and pottery. Pete screamed, holding his mallet in his hand, Eddie hid as the psychotic chef jumped and crashed into the shelves. Back in the dining room, everyone heard loud crashes coming from the kitchen. Nanny, who was pouring drinks for the prince, Cassim, and their young guess, looked in the direction of the kitchen at the sound of a large crash. "I think I'd better go see what Pete is up to." she said. Once she had excused herself, she hurriedly made her way to the palace kitchen. Back in the kitchen, the insane chef, ripped clothes and all, was tearing apart the cabinet, mindlessly throwing things out of the way trying to find Eddie. "Come out, you little pipsqueak, AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!" he snarled. He continued to tear apart a cupboard. "Pete!" shouted Nanny. He shot up, banging his head on the shelf, causing several new pots and pans to fall or break on the floor, at the sound of Nanny's shrill voice. His pants and apron were torn and stained, he only one shoe, his chef's hat was gone, and there was a hole in the elbow of his untucked shirt. "What are you doing?" Nanny demanded. Pete stammered about what he was doing earlier. "Well - I - I was just - er, er, I'm sorry, ''madame." he finally said. Nanny scowled at the fat cat as he gave her an apologetic grin and pinched out a fire that had started on top of his head. Nanny picked up the plates - which all had a metal dome over the top - off a nearby bench, and storming out the kitchen. "Well, I never!" she exclaimed in disgust. Cassim set his glass back on the table as Nanny placed their dinners in front of him, Jasmine, and Aladdin. "You know, Aladdin," he said. "perhaps our young guest might enjoy seeing some of the sights of the kingdom. Something in the way of a tour?" Aladdin simply sat there, staring at Jasmine with a lovestruck expression on his face. Realizing that Cassim had said something to them, they snapped out of their daze. Aladdin let out a small chuckle and looked at Cassim. "I'm sorry, Dad." he said, "What was that?" Cassim leaned over to his son and whispered, "You can't spend all your time moping about, you need to get out. Do something, have a life. Get your mind off-" As Cassim complained, he opened his dish, and Eddie was huddled inside. Jasmine noticed Eddie and became worried. Eddie quietly shushed the worried girl, who opened her dish and urged for Eddie to quickly hide in hers. "Easy, Dad, easy." said Aladdin, "It's not a bad idea. If she's interested." As the two chatted, Eddie quickly and quietly dashed across the table and hid in Jasmine's dish. With Eddie safe, Jasmine quickly turned to Aladdin. "Well, what do you say?" asked Aladdin. "Would you like to join me on a tour of my kingdom tomorrow?" Jasmine nodded, genuinely excited by the prospect and also internally relieved. "Wonderful!" beamed Cassim. "Now let's eat, before this squirrel wanders off my plate." He looked down, only to be confused that Eddie had just run off his plate. Dinner got carried on into the evening long after the sun had set and afterwards, Jasmine, Aladdin, and Cassim went their separate ways. Jasmine now dressed in her nightclothes as she watched Aladdin play with Abu and Iago from the balcony. Jasmine was now wearing a pale blue sleeveless silk nightgown. "Come here boy!" Aladdin laughed to Abu and Iago, "Arrr!!!" He knelt on the ground and Abu and Iago ran and flew up to him, and Abu called, "Here we come, Aladdin!" "Ready or not!" echoed Iago. Aladdin growled playfully at the monkey and parrot as he pinned them down. He looked up and smiled when he saw that the Arabian princess he'd found on the beach that day, watching. Aladdin waved at Jasmine, and she waved back, before slipping further back into her room. Aladdin's eyes sparkled as his smile widened. He was actually really looking forward to taking her around his kingdom tomorrow, and could only hope that she felt the same way. Jasmine smiled as she brushed her untied hair with her fork. Eddie (now wearing a red long-sleeved pajama jacket, matching pants, and a nightcap) complained about his experience in the kitchen as he cleaned off the cooking spices. "This has got to be, without a doubt, the single most humiliating day of my life." he complained. Jasmine patted Eddie on the head. "I hope you and your brothers appreciate what I go through for you, young lady!" scolded the squirrel, as he waved his lettuce leaf at Jasmine while she walked over to her bed. Jasmine's bed was a large canopy bed with royal blue mattresses & matching bedsheets & pillows, large navy blue curtains (with yellow stars on them and golden draw-tassels) on all four sides (attached to the navy blue canopy with yellow stars on it), indigo blankets, white linens, a warm, fuzzy lavender blanket, & purple mahogany bedposts (with a headboard of the same color & material). Anyway, Eddie told Jasmine, "Now, we've got to make a plan to get that street rat to kiss you." She opened the curtains, and bounced a little before settling back into the large pillow on the left side of the canopy bed and crawled under the covers. "Tomorrow, when he takes you for that ride, you gotta look your best." said Eddie. Jasmine lay in her bed. It was very comfy and warm. It was a nice place for her to sleep for the night. "You're gonna bat your eyes - like this," Eddie went on, as he batted his eyes and puckered his lips. "You gotta pucker up your lips - like this." But by now, he realized that Jasmine was already fast asleep. Eddie shook his head and smiled. "Hm." He blew out the candle on the bed side table. He closed the curtains, hopped onto one of Jasmine's pillows, and before falling asleep himself, he said, "You are hopeless, child. You know that?" He yawned and closed his eyes as Jasmine covered him up with her lavender blanket. "Completely hopeless!" And with that, Jasmine and Eddie both fell asleep for the night. Category:Fan Fiction Category:The Little Mermaid Fanfiction Category:The Little Mermaid Fanmake Category:The Little Mermaid Fanmakes Category:The Little Mermaid Parodies Category:The Little Mermaid Spoofs Category:Songs Category:Spin-offs